http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/Midlife-Crisis-blog.html The Article Blog keeps you up to date with additions and changes to The Hero's Spouse . Subscribe here. en-us Midlife Crisis Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:35:02 GMT Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:35:02 GMT midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/typecasting_farrell-and-rosenberg-types.html An Introduction to the 4 categories in <i>Men at Midlife</i> by Michael Farrell and Stanley Rosenberg Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:35:01 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/releasers.html The only way to achieve a true reconciliation is through releasing the attachment to it. Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:12:08 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/contact-and-communication_limited-contact-levels_no-contact.html No Contact is a literal term. It means none, zero, zilch. Where Dim and Dark are emotional states, No Contact is a boundary. Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:02:51 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/inactive-gestures.html Some MLCers want to show their feelings but are stuck behind their wall of guilt which impedes vital communication. Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:52:57 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/who-are-you_step-out-of-the-box.html What is your box? Your hope chest, filled with not only past memories, but also future plans? Maybe that box is Pandora's, now emptied of all but Hope. Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:43:21 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/contact-and-communication_limited-contact-levels_dim-and-dark.html Dim is about protecting yourself while being distantly available. Dark is maintaining an emotional distance when in contact. Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:42:40 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/rebirth-and-integration.html Rebirth and Reintegration are the acceptance and experience of the anxiety that comes from leaping without turning backwards into avoidance again. Sun, 08 Aug 2010 17:13:22 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/unconditional_grace_the-many-forms-and-facets.html There are many ideas describing Grace. Catholicism divides it into two forms, St. Augustine divided it into four and John Wesley divided it into three. Sun, 08 Aug 2010 17:12:07 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/contact-and-communication_limited-contact-levels.html Limiting contact helps you separate from the emotional drama and gives you space for gaining strength and finding your own peace. Sun, 08 Aug 2010 17:11:24 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/standing_clarifying-the-concept-2.html Choosing to Stand can be risky; there is no guarantee your MLCer will choose to return to you. Sun, 08 Aug 2010 17:10:36 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/unconditional_grace.html Grace is the integration of agape and forgiveness. Sun, 08 Aug 2010 17:09:57 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/contact-and-communication_mlcers-run-even-when-the-alienator-is-gone.html MLCers feel the end of the affair-relationship is irrelevant to your marriage because in their mind the infidelity is not the reason they want a divorce. Sun, 08 Aug 2010 17:09:10 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/standing_clarifying-the-concept-1.html Standing is about options. Though there is an implied intention of reconciliation, not everyone knows what they want or what they think they will want in the future. Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:39:26 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/unconditional_forgiveness_responsibility-and-the-betrayer.html A person cannot accept the gift of forgiveness and be free without first acknowledging sin and until such the benefits of forgiveness will remain inaccessible. Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:38:59 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/contact-and-communication_reassure-or-instill-fear.html Where is the balance between an MLCer needing reassurance of your presence and commitment and their fear that they will lose you? Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:38:17 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/will-the-mlcer-marry-the-alienator.html Relationships that begin with infidelity rarely last. Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:37:39 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/unconditional_agape.html Agapeis not something borne of deserving. Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:37:04 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/contact-and-communication_pursuit-and-distance_hoovering.html Hoovering is a metaphor describing how an abuser sucks a victim back into the relationship. Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:35:53 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/midlife-crisis_depression-blind-to-destruction.html Depression is both blinding and clearing. Sometimes MLCers cannot see past their own depression, but often this is because they had to shut down their detectors because they initially saw too clearly. Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:58:21 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/choose_joy_how-should-i-act-around-him.html Love your MLCer from your strength rather than within your weakness. Do this by becoming strong and choosing joy. Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:57:49 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/contact-and-communication_pursuit-and-distance_questions.html Why am I pursuing, why do I feel this way, why does he keep changing his mind? Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:56:26 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/liminality_transition-is-liminal.html Liminal Depression is an act of Depressing and to depress is to be in Deep Rest or Hibernation. Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:55:30 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/sacred-rest.html In our hustle-bustle world we think growth and progress are byproducts of action and we thus avoid stopping, taking breaks and listening until we are forced into resistant submission. Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:54:53 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/contact-and-communication_pursuit-and-distance.html Pursuit and distance is an unspoken agreement to dance; each needs the other since without someone to chase and someone to run there is no dance. Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:53:51 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/lifecycleanddevelopment-erikerikson-stage4.html The fourth stage of development: Preadolescent. This builds the foundation for later formation of the identity. Sun, 30 May 2010 14:31:04 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/lifecycleanddevelopment-erikerikson-stage4-MLC-regression.html A brief review of midlife regression to Stage 4 in Erik Erikson's Developmental Stages. Sun, 30 May 2010 14:30:34 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/index.html Articles about dealing with a spouse's midlife crisis, depression and infidelity from a woman with direct experience. Fri, 14 May 2010 22:42:44 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/understanding_infidelity_love-and-indifference.html Indifference is a response that is completely detached and therefore without emotional energy; it relies on rational feelings instead. Sat, 08 May 2010 23:56:45 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/self-focus_bitter-or-better.html Are you bitter or better? Are you surviving or a survivor--existing or thriving? Sat, 08 May 2010 23:55:34 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/standing-actions_crumbs-of-hope-between-lies.html Some are skeptical of an MLCer tossing breadcrumbs and giving you hope--it feels unfair because they snatch away the bread and your hope crashes. Sat, 08 May 2010 23:53:24 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/understanding_infidelity_love-and-hate.html Love and hate are the opposing ends of a thread which unlike an unbendable line can come together just as 11:59 is next to 12:00. Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:38:47 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/releasers_are-you-attached-to-your-inner-victim.html Detach from your story of wallowed suffering and the victim you have made yourself into. Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:38:08 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/coming-and-going_lost-love.html Are you losing your love for your MLCer? Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:36:45 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/liminality_when-is-liminality.html As Liminal Depression approaches, an MLCer may exhibit more anger and lash out more as he tries harder and harder to avoid being depressed. Mon, 12 Apr 2010 04:25:51 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/releasers_wallow-or-embrace.html Are you wallowing in the victim's suffering or embracing your challenges as though they are a teacher helping you to grow? Mon, 12 Apr 2010 04:24:22 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/coming-and-going_wanting-more.html If you want your MLCer to crawl and grovel, or beg and plead, you are having a superiority issue. Mon, 12 Apr 2010 04:22:11 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/replay_stage-obsession.html If your Bomb Drop was recent, your MLCer is in Replay. If your Bomb Drop was a year ago, your MLCer is in Replay. If your Bomb Drop was 18 months ago, your MLCer is likely still in Replay. Sat, 03 Apr 2010 22:09:21 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/releasers_nature-of-suffering.html How many cheaters marry the alienator and how many of those marriages eventually fail? * Everyone has agape available to them as a gift from God. * How relationship-abusers suck victims back in. Sat, 03 Apr 2010 22:08:46 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/planting-seeds_planting-with-monster.html If you want someone else to change, start with yourself and they might choose to react and respond differently, but it is their choice. Sat, 03 Apr 2010 22:08:09 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/the-case-against-return-statistics.html Statistics can be helpful when used wisely and with caution, but they are also dangerous. Sun, 14 Mar 2010 13:59:48 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/choose_joy_expectation-and-the-gratitude-of-job.html Action calling itself gratitude with expectancy is not free. Sun, 14 Mar 2010 13:59:10 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/planting-seeds_denying-choice.html Your MLCer feels forced and denies that he has a choice in his actions. Throw his choice back at him in a firm manner. Sun, 14 Mar 2010 13:58:37 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/What-is-bomb-drop.html Bomb Drop is the moment you learn there is a serious problem in your marriage threatening its destruction. Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:46:44 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/choose_joy_gratitude-count-your-blessings.html How do you find gratitude when your life is crumbling? Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:45:59 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/planting-seeds_communicating-your-stand-and-beliefs.html How can you communicate your Stand without seeming as though you are in denial? Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:45:21 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/why-your-questions-are-important.html There is a risk of information overload and analysis paralysis but some people will remain stuck in panic without some introductory information. Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:11:34 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/choose_joy-gratitude.html Gratitude is more than Thank You. Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:08:13 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/planting-seeds_change-your-language.html A brief introduction to Ericksonian language. Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:07:49 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/lifecycleanddevelopment-erikerikson-stage3-MLC-regression.html A brief review of midlife regression to Stage 3 in Erik Erikson's Developmental Stages. Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:16:33 GMT http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/infidelity.html Infidelity is a violation from the most trusted person in your life. Sun, 31 Jan 2010 13:56:29 GMT