Denial Vs. Acceptance

By Kenda-Ruth Stumpf

Denial and Acceptance are opposites. Denial is about not Accepting. Externally a person in Denial and one in Acceptance may appear the same. You both believe he will come home. You both have Faith in a Higher Power. You both may put up with a lot—or it may seem so to outsiders. How do you know whether you are in Denial or Acceptance?

Denial Acceptance
Denies the process of the crisis
I can make it better
I can change him
He will go through this quickly

Accepts the process of the crisis
Cycling Behaviour
A few years in duration

Insistence from a weak standpoint
God wouldn't do this to me
God won't let me down...

God is doing this; maybe there is a reason.
Or Free-Will etc.

Weak or Vacant sounding
Lacking a tone of authority and confidence

Confident and Authoritative Manner

Pretending nothing has changed
If I pretend nothing is wrong, it will go away.
Accepting change
Not allowing him to pretend nothing is wrong I’m bothered that you…
Dismiss facts & his feelings
This makes him feel worthless
Faith without being dismissive
Validate & Affirm
Standing out of Fear & Desperation
Claims Faith, but Fear is indicative of a lack of Faith
Standing out of Love and Personal Strength

Low Self-Worth, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem
Finds Self-Love externally
High Self-Worth, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem
Loves Self
Gave Up Personal Power
Allows external control of emotions
When he does that he makes me feel Mad, Sad, Happy…
Accepts and Hold onto Personal Power
Internal Emotional Control
When he does that I feel Mad, Sad, Happy…
This is being done to me
Poor me
I am in control of me
Embraces personal journey
Always acting perky or happy
Comfortable revealing all emotions

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