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Chapter 1: Standing

By Kenda-Ruth Stumpf


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Stander
A person who seeks to remain married while his or her spouse is seeking to escape the marriage; legal actions may or may not have been initiated or finalized. Some are Standers by action, while others are strict Standers in philosophy, believing divorce is an immoral action.

Though I am Christian and may use the Bible to support and validate my Stand, I do not believe a specific Faith is required. I believe in the value of a vow, a covenant, a promise made and spoken through the myriad variety of marriage vows. Secular governments have reduced marriage to the status of a legal contract. To me, it is more than that. I also accept that a couple may choose vows that are secular and not based on a covenant 'til death. But for those who make a covenantal vow, I believe it is unbreakable. There are some that do not understand this statement--it makes no sense.

How can that be when your MLCer is living with someone else?
If your spouse wants out, your marriage is a sham.

A covenant is an agreement with God. If you don't believe in God or a Higher Power, then the concept isn't one you will choose to use. That's fine. Not everyone will agree with all reasons or definitions used to describe Standing. A promise or vow that is between two people without including God is breakable. I believe a covenant is God's creation. It does not mean that you will not divorce. It is a difficult concept to explain because I am ever-exploring what it means; a description that rings true for me is that it is a connection that is beyond mortal life or existence.

I'm Kenda-Ruth and I believe in marriage.
Are you tired of hearing...
  • Once a cheater always a cheater?
  • You're better off without him?
  • She doesn't deserve you?
  • I guess it just wasn't meant to last?
  • Divorce is no big deal?
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