You cannot prevent MLC and positive signs are fleeting. Why have hope, the negatives pour in; your MLCer...
Your Husband, Wife--Sweetheart, the person whom you married
These statements may not be happening during MLC, but they are present tense because the true person whom you married still loves you and is a wonderful person. This person is not the MLC Monster. The MLC Monster is the Fear. The MLC Monster is in control. Look into the Monster's eyes and you will see that they are dead. Would it be worth it to have the person you married back? What about that but changed spiritually--having grown and matured through the Crisis? Would it be worth it for your children to have both parents together? Would it be worth it for your children to learn that relationships are not always easy, but they can be healed?
Your MLCer is lost, not gone. What is lost can be found. MLCers can and do come home. That does not mean your MLCer will come home; it means it is possible. There is always Hope. Have no expectations for each individual moment, but Hope can always be high. Accept. You may HATE the Monster. But the Monster is your MLCer's Fear, not your MLCer's Self. The Fear is holding the Self captive.
Most LBS's have asked these questions or revealed these fears. Many begin believing at least some of the blame and thus they are the cause. If you are the cause, then you could have prevented the crisis. They begin Fighting for the marriage and changing. Fighting goes along with prevention. MLC is not preventable and fighting yields fighting.
An LBS often begins changing so quickly that they have not searched within for valid changes yet. The MLCer doesn't believe the changes and the LBS panics. This is valid; the changes are not real until they have not only been maintained, but also accepted and appreciated by you--that means you want those changes too. You may not have known that before, but you love the new you.
Beginners recite the script, often ignorant that it is a script and not a unique tale of woe. Dating is on that script. If you believe your MLCer's projected blame and his words I love you but I'm not in-love with you, you may either consider dating yourself or believe that your MLCer's supposed desire for you to date is additional evidence that he does not love you and that your marriage is doomed. Some LBS's are quickly caught up in the confusion of opposites as their MLCers wants out one day, shows hope the next and out another day later. They believe it all.
You know you’ve gotta stop crying, panicking or asking your spouse ANYTHING. And you know you should let-go and give space so that you can learn to respond and communicate with your spouse from a place of calm rather than emotional hurt.
Understanding Midlife Crisis
The foundational course to give you answers and clarity into "What the he!! Is going on with my spouse!"