The Assurances

Belief & Believe

Seeing is believing. Is that true? Seeing--or other modes of sensory input--provides evidence for convincing one way or another. It is difficult to believe in reconciliation when the sensory evidence points in the opposite direction. But what or who are your sources? Is your source your MLC spouse who once professed love and now professes hate, who may be addicted in in-fatuation, who may have experienced a recent trauma (ex. Death of a parent) that left them floundering and not certain of who they are anymore? Is your spouse running away from her problems, avoiding responsibility and projecting blame? MLC spouses are not reliable sources. An MLCer in Monster, displaying high-energy hatred or projections at you is revealing an attachment through their display of energy--positive or negative--this is indicative that for good or bad the relationship is not finished.

What evidence do you value? MLCers are shape-shifters; they change and thus basing what you believe on an MLCer's behaviors, feelings and emotions will only serve to confuse you.

What about your Self--you? Do you believe in you? Consider your prior achievements. What actions lead you to success? Are you at a loss to think of any? That's okay, not everyone can think of how they are successes when they are in shock-and-panic from Bomb Drop and dealing with an MLC Monster, or when they have lead a life dedicated to external roles--such as spouse and parent.

As a noun, Belief often refers to an idea or concept and what a person thinks is true about it. Believing is broader. It can refer to believing in ideas and concepts or people, but it also refers to information, facts & figures, history and possibilities. Ex. It is my belief that marriage is good. That belief does not mean that I also believe that a marriage can be made by randomly pairing two people; partnering is not random and my belief about the goodness of marriage does not mean I believe that since marriage is good, choosing not to marry is bad. Believing is an important part of Standing. What you believe is personal to you, but there are 4 important things to actively believe in.

  1. Self
  2. Your Spouse
  3. Stories and Human Behavior
  4. God/Higher Power

Do you feel like a deer about two seconds after seeing the headlights?

You know you’ve gotta stop crying, panicking or asking your spouse ANYTHING. And you know you should let-go and give space so that you can learn to respond and communicate with your spouse from a place of calm rather than emotional hurt.

Understanding Midlife Crisis

The foundational course to give you answers and clarity into "What the he!! Is going on with my spouse!"